Letters to Andrew: We Call you Rocky!

Dear Andrew,

I am so proud of you! You have handled every challenge that Leukemia has thrown at you with class, grace, and courage. I can’t believe I have waited so long to write you this letter. As I write this letter to you now I am dealing with the reality that you may never be able to read it. However, I write it with the hope that you will. I write to tell you how proud I am of what you have already accomplished while I am watching you daily fight a battle that I can’t even comprehend. In my minds eye I replay the last couple of weeks as we watched your body slowly decline. We had no idea or ability to even know what was going on inside your body. You were getting stronger every trip to the therapy. You were practicing even harder at basketball. Coach Shep kept sneaking you into the game even longer every week! We were so proud of you and happy for you.  You showed why we call you, Rocky!

We never imagined that you would suffer so much from your bone marrow transplant. Dr. Davis and Dr. Gordon both told us how horrible it would be. It all played out just like they said but they could not convey just how much you would suffer.  Yet, you kept pressing on. You did your therapy. Your did all of your daily cleaning which became very panful once your mouth sores and ulcers developed. This doesn’t even take into account all the days you spent completely strapped and taped into a chair for thirty minutes of full body radiation. My stars son! I don’t know-how anyone let alone a 12 year old can handle what you conquered this past summer.  To say I am proud really doesn’t do you justice. I am amazed by you.
The straight truth about it Andrew is that you are already everything a man is suppose to be. You are humble and kind. You are a gentle soul. Quick to defend the weaker. Even quicker to stand against the bully. You are gentle to the little ones and your heart is full of compassion. Your smile is genuine because you are so genuine. Your daily life is a routine of suffering and struggle and yet you exhibit precisely what it means to be full of life. When you weren’t allowed to go to the Leake Football games you’d watch from the truck with as much joy as if you were on the sidelines. You rejected every opportunity for self pity and embraced every moment with a deep appreciation for life. I stand amazed watching you live!
I should have written this letter already. Of all families, we should not be the one who takes time for granted. Yet, even we take time for granted as we get use to death’s reality in our world. We still put off to tomorrow expressions of love that should be given today. And now, your mother and I sit daily and watch you seem to be lifeless as machines keep your body alive. Although your body often seems to be lifeless, the monitor makes it clear that you are not only alive but you are fighting. I know I tell you I love you all the time. But watching you in the bed with the breathing tube going down your throat I can only think about, “did I show you well enough?” Did you really know? Do you know? We have lived with the knowledge that leukemia could possibly take your life for almost 5 years. But this is the first time that death has been at the door. Every night I say good bye to you because I must go home and take care of your sisters. I put on all of the disease control gear and stand by your bed. Through my rubber gloves, I touch your face and rub your head. Hoping it gives you comfort. You can’t hold my hand. You can’t communicate with me. You can’t look at me. Between the mask and all of the wires and tubes I can’t even kiss you. I simply tell you over and over again that “Daddy Loves you” and that “I am so proud of you” and simply look at your precious face. And every night I say a final good bye not knowing whether or not I will see you alive again the next morning. It is a nightly final good bye.  And every night your life flashes through mind. I see you throwing the ball as a little boy. I see the girls jumping up and down every morning by your crib screaming, “Andrew’s up! Andrew’s up!” I see you playing Canton and Ole Miss every Friday afternoon in the front yard until you were utterly exhausted. I see you dressed for church looking just like me with your blue blazer and Leake Academy tie. I see you walking the field with Yadi Molina as if you were talking to a friend. I see you heart broken in life. I see you climb into my lap after being told you have cancer. I see you asking me, “will I ever wake up again?” when I told you they were putting you on the breathing machine. I see your life and all we hope for it to be every night as I say good bye.
So I write this letter to tell you that I am so proud of you and love you. And I pray that one day you will be able to read it. I pray more that one day you will know how true it is. But right now I need you to know that there is nothing you can do to make us more proud of you! And like Christ’s love, there is nothing you can do to cause us to love you anymore than we do. You’ve never had to earn our love and you couldn’t earn it if you tried. We love you period and full stop! Win, lose, or draw we love you. Your physical battles with Leukemia and pneumonia will not ever change that nor can our love be changed.
Now hear me, Little Man!  Listen to me son! Do you hear me? Huh!? Do you hear me!? I know you probably can’t really understand me or truly hear me but listen anyway. I know you can feel me!  Fight! Get up in that bed and fight! Don’t quit. Don’t slow down. Don’t have a pity party. The sun comes up and the sun goes down and all you can do with it  “Take Care of Your Business!” and finish the fight! I know you're down. I know you you are knocked down like never before. Ain’t nothing ever hit you like this pneumonia has hit you this week. And nobody in the world would blame you if you want to quit. And nobody would blame if you felt like it isn’t worth it when life is a constant fight with leukemia and pneumonia. But life isn’t about being satisfied with just showing up. That's not how we roll. Now you fight! Not for me and momma. Not for your sisters. Not for all those who love you. You fight for you! At the end of the day this is your fight. It is about you and nobody else. You have a cloud of witnesses and supporters cheering you on but it is your fight. You finish it! I can’t fight this for you! I don’t care how bad this Pneumonia is it’s hard to beat someone who won’t ever quit fighting. So press on and fight to the finish. Come ON Rocky!

Get up out of that bed and knock it’s block off! Cause Daddy Loves you!

In Christ,
Love Daddy.

Prayer Report: Day 188 Transplant and Day 8 ICU

January 31, 2019
It’s the Top of 12th Inning:
Andrew had a great day yesterday as we reported and the results of all the tests and observations from yesterday are complete and they all confirm that he had a good day. We are excited about the progress and emotionally the opportunity to see his eyes and to communicate with him is indescribable. However, we must stress how little these steps are from a clinical stand point and he has a long way to go. His lungs are severely diseased and compromised. Healing will take a long time and the extent of his recovery will be something that only time will tell. So, today will be another day of small changes and goals. They are continuing to tweak his breathing machine levels as they move him to breathing more and more on his own. So small steps yet huge progress.
If you’re like us, then you may be starting to ask yourself, “just how bad off was he” on Sat. Well, if you know me, then you know I asked that question myself. The short answer is that Friday into Saturday was even more dangerous than we could realize without being doctors ourselves. Andrew barely made it. Gumby really did save the day.

Game Report:
Bob Uecker here sports fans. I have a special guest today. Longtime Cardinals announcer and fan, Jack Buck. Welcome Jack. Thanks for letting me join you Bob. I just had get back to do my part and hopefully be able to end this broadcast with, “that’s a winner!” Plus, this historic effort by Team Andrew and Big Andrew himself may be even more dramatic than calling Kirk Gibson’s one armed game winning home run in the 88 World Series! In fact, I know this is the most dramatic MLB game I have seen. That courageous steal by Andrew in the 9th sums it all up. But I am still amazed that he scooped that bullet out of the dirt in the 7th and cut the runner out at home. That defensive play by Big Andrew is what’ve we come to expect form him on first but it was still amazing even for him.

Well, we rejoin the game in the Top of 11th. Commercial considerations prevented us from preempting the daily soap operas but we are back in action. The Cardinals left Big Andrew on second in the bottom of the ninth. They left two men on base in the 10th. They have been knocking on the door in every inning but just haven’t been able to get that game winning score. But, they are wearing down the Pneumonia Yankee’s pitching staff. They’re running the pitch counts up with every batter and draining the bullpen each inning as well. It will have to pay off eventually. That’s right Bob. The Cardinals are grinding it out.

The story for the moment is now the pitching performance of Wall-E. Wow, the stamina and command he has shown. Closers are special but notoriously weak when it comes to stamina and command. All speed and power. Little Control. But Wall-E has been a steady nightmare ever since they called him in back in the 7th.

You know Bob, he’s the overlooked player for the Cardinals. He’s just steady. Gets out there and does his job. People really take him for granted. The Yankees are getting a taste of what other teams experienced when Mariano “The Sandman” Rivera would step on the mound. He has struck out every player and has only thrown four balls up to this point. That’s right Jack. And he’s doing it with command and intimidation. He looks as imposing as Bruce Sutter did in his prime. Wall-E has always been efficient. All business. Look at that Jack. He’s standing on the rubber bouncing the ball with disgust as he’s waiting on the Umpire. He is locked in. Wow, a fast ball for out #one. Incredible. Out number two. Three Cutters! Three straight cutters. He is dialed in Bob! I bet he can’t even hear the crowd he is so in the ZONE! Now, The Yankees acquired Big Papi late in the year and he is now up. You can cut the tension with a knife. We all know of his October magic. Let’s see if he has it in January. Another cutter for strike 1. A split finger for strike 2. What will Wall-E do for this pitch. Big Papi will be looking for that notorious fastball. He got him with a Change Up!! He got him with a Change Up for Strike 3! Is there a pitch that Wall-E can’t throw, Jack? Bob, I haven’t seen one. He just dropped his velocity from 100 all the way down to 70! No, Jack. The gun says he dropped all the way down to 60! Incredible. That’s just unheard of for a closer.

Well Bob, there is a lot of talk of this being Big Andrew’s last game. He may have to retire from baseball after this season. His lung damage may prevent him from continuing in the game. The players all know it. Joe is reporting that in the 7th Wall-E told the manager, “Give me the Ball! Big Andrew ain’t going out like this!"
We’ll be back after the break!

Prayer Report: Day 187 Transplant

Jan. 30, 2019
A Productive Weather Delay:
Andrew’s fever was controlled pretty easily and they took all the measures to remove any possible source of infection. He is handling all of the changes in meds and the slow process of removing and turning down the machines. He is taking some good steps now in the right directions. Overall, he is holding steady. He still has to maintain some significant advances and prove himself before we can get excited. So, the operative phrase again is not “too excited” about any of this yet but definitely joyous and overjoyed because WE HAVE SEEN OUR BABY’S EYES AGAIN! Yes, I buried the lead. They have taken him off the paralytic drugs and are tweaking his sedation ever so slightly so he briefly tried to wake up and he was able to communicate with us through nodding. He attempted to squeeze Robin’s hand and opened his eyes twice. One time pretty significantly. He probably won’t remember any of this but I promise you that we will.

Game Report:
Bob Uecker back here with you sports fans! We are still in a weather delay. Not sure why because the sun is out. They say it’s a Mississippi thing. Two days to recover from a massive snow storm. Regardless, it may turn out to be the best thing for the Team Andrew Cardinals. Andrew has been receiving some extensive work from the trainers and team medical staff. Big Andrew has played in every game for four seasons in spite of some extensive injuries and battling Leukemia. His Agents credit the medical staff and Andrew’s trust and loyalty to them is only matched by their dedication to him. I think we have a dugout report from down below. Let’s see who is working on Big Andrew.

Yes, Bob, this is Joe Buck. Team Andrew has called in one of their staff to see if she can’t get Andrew through this game. After that big steal for second base he appears to be suffering from some respiratory difficulty. Andrew’s battle with Leukemia is well known but most fans are not aware that Andrew has suffered his entire life from complications from a severe case of RSV when he was an infant. The team reports that it can be very discouraging for him when he has an attack. When he has an attack they call in Tiffany. She has been with him from his first day of leukemia. She was the one who helped explain all the medical treatments they were giving him and all about leukemia. The reports are that she thinks like an 8 year old. The stories about Tiffany are legendary. They say she is nut and nobody understands how she survives life let alone tend to professional baseball players. But next to his nurse MS. Elaine the Agents turn to Tiffany for Andrew’s encouragement. It looks like she has given him a water gun and he is shooting his manager? Not sure how thats helpful Bob. Wait. I’m getting an explanation. Tiffany said that the water guns are for therapeutic target practice. There is extensive research that reveals the benefits. They say Andrew regains his focus through this therapy. Hopefully for Team Andrew this will get him back on the field. I need to go Bob. I am hearing reports of some kind of snake in the dugout! Not sure how a snake would get in here.

Prayer Report: Day 186 Transplant

Weather Delay! Jan. 29, 2019


Andrew had a great night and progress for the day. 
Sorry for the delay on the report today. The daily routine takes us up to around 12 or 1pm before we have seen all of Andrew's doctors. So, unless there is some kind of drastic crisis we won't be doing daily reports till the afternoon.
Last night went well for Andrew and his X-rays showed no change. He didn't have any overnight set backs and they are slowly dialing back on the work that the machines are doing for him. It's going to be a slow process so we basically are praying for a few days of no changes. No changes would mean that he is handling the process of coming off the machines. The most important report at this point is to say that he is still alive and that the doctors are pleased with the progress.
HOWEVER, as I type this report I am receiving word that he might be having a set back. Too early to tell. But Andrew has started to fun a fever. It was at 100.2 but has climbed to 100.4. They have begun a battery of test looking for the source. So let us pray that this is a simple issue and not a genuine set back.

For those interested

Game Recap:

Bob Uecker here Sports fans. We have a heck of a winter league game underway here between the Team Andrew Cardinals and Pneumonia Yankees. We are in a weather delay due to a temporary wintery blast that has shut down the State. We are hoping the field crew can get their equipment across the parking lot in order to clear the field. But until then, we have Andrew on second after an amazing steal. So, he is in scoring position and it is still the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs. A tied ballgame.

We need to talk about that amazing play by Gumby in the top of the 9th out in center field. The ground he had to cover in order snag that ball before going over the fence for a home run. If it hadn't of been for the effort of Gumby this ball game would probably be over for that would have been a 3 run shot. Team Andrew might not have recovered from that deficit.

For long time Cardinals fans they can't help but think back to Willie McGee and his amazing post season play in Centerfield. His 1982 WS home run stealing catch in Game 3 is what legends are made of. All heart, guts, and effort.

Hey Bob, Jack Cristil here, if you haven't seen him play yet you have got to check out the center fielder Jake Mangum at Mississippi State. Like McGee, the game changes when he is on the field. His heart and guts make it always possible to Wrap it in "Maroon and White" no matter how far behind the Bull Dawgs are in the 9th inning. He's the kind of player that opposing Managers hate but would break the bank account to sign for their own club. And, that is exactly the kind of player Andrew is on the field. Don't be surprised to see him score for the win!!

Hopefully, we can resume play shortly. I trust you found Bob Uecker's Game Delay report. Until then, Keep praying and cheering.

In Christ,
Perry

Prayer Report: Day 183 Transplant

Bottom of the 9th!
100% is the only statistic that matters. Andrew's survival is either 100% or it is not. So 100% is the only stat that matters.
We found out last evening that Andrew has a severe case of interstitial pneumonia. It is a particular type of pneumonia that strikes transplant patients and those with autoimmune diseases. It spreads within the lung tissue and requires a CT to detect. Andrew's right lung is in awful condition. It looks like a shattered or frost covered windshield. It would be worse if this was the caner in his lungs but this is not particularly better. There is a last ditch -kitchen sink throwing- medicine they are giving him. If this disease has stopped growing then there might be chance it could work.

Since June 2, 2014 I have intentional been straight with everyone. Transparent so you can pray. Transparent as a testimony to the sovereign and purposeful goodness of God's providence in our all of lives. Sufferings and trials are not a plan B to avoid but the perfect purpose of God for us to know him, glorify him, and be used by Him for the Praise of Christ, the cause of Christ, and the good of Christ's people. God's Got This! never means there will be no suffering or death. God's Got This! means there is a Cross of Glory that displays the utter horror and destruction of sin and the endless power, love, and grace of God. God's Got This! means that longevity in a sinful world is never the goal nor is it the best of blessings but only a longer opportunity to serve and press on toward the goal of an eternal glory with Christ our Lord. Praise God from Whom All blessings flow that our God has not left us in our sin but has from all eternity purposed to save his people by sending a redeemer who has and will conquer all the destruction and corruption of sin. Thereby, declaring us righteous in Christ, making us his very own dear children, and making us more and more holy in heart and conduct. Thus, preparing us for that day when in glory Christ shall burst forth is ALL victory with a New Heaven and Earth and we shall dwell forever with him face to face. Glory! Glory! He is Alive!
So, until that day comes....today is a day of fighting for Andrew. He does not stand much of a chance of winning this final round. His body and lungs particularly are so beaten and broken from the war he has already raged. But the fight isn't over. We can't say that we will ever see him awake in this life again. But he is still fighting. What his voice can't say to us the monitors reveal.

He is still fighting.
But it's the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs and a full count of tied ball game with the Andrew at the plate facing the most dominant closing pitcher he has faced in his entire battle against leukemia. Only 100% at this bat will do. So, Cheer. Pray. and Pray some more. The ChemoWarrior is at the plate!

In Christ,
Perry


Prayer Report: Lord's Day 24 and 25

The past two weeks have been full of milestones and big events. Andrew passed Day 50 of 100 Days of transplant September 13. He received his results from the bone marrow test from the week before. He is doing well and he received a good report. His new bone marrow has engrafted significantly and is functioning well so far. His engraftment has reached 97% and no signs at this point of not reaching the 100% mark in the future. However,  this is a matter of ongoing prayer because a BMT is not a game of horseshoes so 99% isn't good enough. He was at 96% when he left the hospital so he is moving up! He is beginning to work daily on his school work. His stamina is his greatest challenge these days. He feels well most of the time but the smallest amount of activity is exhausting for him. He received the good news that on November 2 he will be able to get out again. Lord willing we will be able to go eat lunch at Waffle House and go watch the Leake Rebels play in the second round of the playoffs.

The past two weeks have had many bright spots. Andrew was able to talk his sappy nurses and doctors into letting him escort Mabry Mayfield for the Leake Academy homecoming Rally. He was excited to be able to participate somewhat in a normal school event. He had to wait in the car till everyone was in the gym so that we could walk him in without being around everyone. He was exhausted after it was all over but loved every minute of it. We made most of the last home game for the Jr. High football game. He was able to see some of his best buddies through the fence.

The Lord has been very good to us throughout this entire trial. Robin and I look at each other sometimes and really have no idea how we have all made it through another week. Nothing is normal. We can not do a single routine weekly activity without having to make adjustments or accommodations that we never even considered would become an issue. Yet,  we remind ourselves that these "sufferings and head aches" are genuinely the blessing of Andrew still being alive and our family still being together. We press on by grace in the name of Christ striving to persevere to the glory of His name.

Prayer Report: Lord's Day 22 and 23

I apologize for missing our prayer report last week. I know that many who follow Andrew have access to the reports from other social media outlets but not all of his prayer warriors are connected to social media so I deeply regret missing the report. Andrew is doing well. Andrew was released from the hospital on Friday August 24. The original plan was for Andrew and Robin to stay in Jackson at a hotel suite arranged by the cancer clinic. That lasted about 24 hours before they were ready to just come on home. Sunday afternoon the 26th they came on home. His blood tests have been good and the doctors are pleased with his progress. He is exhausted and weak most of the time but he feels well otherwise. He has been back to the Cancer Clinic four times so far. He is no longer taking treatments but he does have to receive various medicines or supplements as a regular part of the process. He takes so many different types of medicines at this stage that you can easily imagine all of the side effects and interactions they are monitoring. The clinic trips have most often taken the whole day and because of his condition at this point they have to stay separated off from everyone in a clinic room. This past Thursday he had procedures for a bone marrow test and a skin biopsy to test for graft host disease. We will be waiting for the results of these tests over the next week. He is approaching the 50 day mark of transplant so he is about half way through his 100 days. We ask for your perseverance in prayer for Andrew and the family. He is not out of the woods yet. Although he is doing well and we are able to legitimately breathe a little easier than we were the first 30 days,  he could still face many complications and some of them could potentially be very critical. His spirits are ok. They are not as up and bright as we are use to seeing from Andrew. He knows and feels how much of life he is missing right now. In our little world of Madden, MS and Leake Academy the 7th grade is a major life transition and a right of passage. Missing out stings this time.  He has been able to watch some of his friends play football from afar. He has his first real jersey. But he is truly isolated. He and Robin both.

We are so thankful for the prayers and support. Our churches (Carolina and Carthage Presbyterian) have been so understanding. Leake Academy from the staff, students, and parents have been so patient and supportive of each of us with our own set of challenges from me as a parent and teacher as well as the girls as students and sisters. Pray that we will be able to finish strong. That our faith will not whither in the heat of the storm.   That our weariness will not turn into slack or apathy. That we will all be sources of daily gospel light for the grace and mercy of Christ within us. That we will not waste the opportunities of service that God has given to us during this season for Andrew.

We do hope to return to our regular Reports, Letters to Andrew,  Dispatches from Andrew, and Robin's Journal this week. We have been swamped with the burdens and pressures of trying to readjust into life at home with all of us together. The sun still rises and sets everyday regardless of the trials you are facing. Life is far from a regular routine at this point. Nonetheless, he is home and he is doing well. When he entered the hospital for his transplant the reality of him not seeing Madden, MS again was real. We praise God from Whom All blessings flow!