Prayer Report: Day 210 Transplant, Day 30 of Hospital Admission, Day 2 of PICU Return

February 22, 2019
Day 210 of Transplant.
Day 30 of the current Hospital Admission
Day 2 back in the PICU

    Andrew was placed back into the PICU yesterday afternoon. His oxygen levels continued on a slow decline throughout the day without any signs of improving. His chest X-ray showed a worsening from the early morning X-ray. The Bone Marrow Unit is actually not apart of Blair Batson Children’s Hospital (a story for another day) and it roughly a 1/4 a mile walk from the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) which takes an easy 8 minutes to walk when pushing equipment. So, it was a pretty easy call to be proactive and get him back to where he could receive the extra attention. All signs at this stage point to this being an issue of fluid overload and his inability to get rid off it quick enough. His blood counts dropped some more over night so today he has been receiving blood and blood platelets. He looks good and feels not so bad. He has been extremely scared throughout the process. The long trip through hospital hallways and elevators were pretty traumatic. However, for almost 24 hours he has had visits from nurses, doctors, and medical teams who had served him for all those days he was on the ventilator. He had no idea that that he was loved so much in the PICU like he has been on 3C and the Marrow Unit. He was never truly awake before. He is feeling well enough now to trash talk a doctor who was eating a Girl Scout cookie. Andrew hasn’t been able to eat since yesterday so he basically called him a wimp for being hungry. Looks like he might be able to officially break in the PICU crew this time.

    We haven’t been posting much lately primarily because there hasn’t been anything to report. A simple explanation is that just about everything in his body right now is not working in the way it ought to be working. To help one organ you do something that hurts another organ. His recovery is going very slowly and will probably continue to go slowly. We spoke with the therapist who has worked with him the most and she confirmed to us that the process of gaining strength is going slower than normal and slower than she expected. He just isn’t gaining the strength back. He has made real gains from where he started from but they are still limited. He can create muscle tension but he can’t lift his legs or arms. He improves a little one day and then the next day he takes a step backwards. At times, his left arm responds much like what you would see from someone who has suffered a stroke.

    This is why we hesitate to say that Andrew is doing good. He is significantly better. He is doing fine in the big picture. But he is just NOT ok yet. His primary cancer doctors and nurses have coined the phrase “Andrew weird” to aid in the process of caring for him. A reminder that great doctors do not merely follow protocols or numbers but apply the protocols, research, and test numbers to the actual patient they are treating. We are fortunate to have that kind of care.

Letters to Andrew: Cancer Clinic: The Forgotten Nurses

Dear Andrew,

       I write this letter to you to share with you the letter we wrote to the Cancer Clinic nurses. I call them the forgotten nurses because they are all too easily overlooked. the reason they are easily overlooked is because they are apart of thee everyday routine. We tend to overlook the routine and daily blessings in our lives. But the Cancer Clinic nurses are actually the ones you spend the most time with over time.  They are the ones who trained me an your momma (especially momma) how to be Leukemia parents. The first week of diagnosis they came tp your rom and spend as much as an hour sitting with us and explaining the best they could in that moment what we could expect for the next three to four years. I really don't know if your mother could have mentally survived the first week if it had not been for the Cancer Clinic Nurses. Here is your Daisy Letter.

Dear Cancer Clinic Daisies,

Please accept this Daisy Bouquet as a small token of our appreciation for all that you have done for Andrew and us for four and half years. We have turned in a few “Daisy” nominations over the years but we have always believed them to be inadequate for expressing the total team work required for even the greatest of nurses and staff to do their work. So, this daisy bouquet represents our own DAISY AWARD for excellence. Nonetheless, this bouquet still fails to communicate the profound gratefulness and love that we have for all of you. We are aware that the “Clinic” can often be the forgotten piece of the treatment puzzle. There is natural attachment that occurs on the floor in the intensity of initial diagnosis that is hard to recreate in the long grind of routine treatment. However, the reality is that the Clinic ultimately spends more time giving care than any other group. So, we thank you.

  June 2, 2014 is Andrew’s date. All of your patients have a date of life change and that date is ours. We of course had no clue of how much our lives were going to change nor how much Andrew would suffer. We couldn’t imagine how the long grind of the so called “maintenance” phase would beat us all down physically, emotionally, and spiritually as year after year would pass.  But we also couldn’t imagine the blessing God was giving to us by introducing all of you into our lives. I will never forget the first time Carey entered Andrew’s room. She began training Robin to be a leukemia mom. I could tell right away that we were entering into a completely different world. I remember it being one of the first times that I began to feel that Andrew was safe. Our first tour of the Clinic produced the same result but at an even deeper level for Robin.  For the first time she began to feel like she would be able to handle it after we would leave the hospital.  Typical of Andrew “weird”, he would spend well over a month in the hospital before being released. By the time we had to start coming to the clinic we had seen almost everyone of his chemo nurses at least once. So immediately, the Clinic was HOME for Andrew. A place where he has always felt safe. So for us, 3C and The Clinic have all always been the same family.

We thank God often for the blessing of Andrew’s Clinic Team.  We think of you often. I have no doubt that none of you fully appreciate how important and special you are for your patients and particularly for us. Andrew’s childhood has been spent with you in the clinic. Some of his fondest childhood memories will forever include you. NEVER DOUBT THE IMPACT, IMPORTANCE, AND NECESSITY
OF YOUR WORK! Nor, our love and appreciation.

Thank You,
Team Andrew

Prayer and Praise: 19 Days of ICU

February 11, 2019
Day 199 of Transplant and Day 19 PICU

Praise God from Whom ALL Blessings Flow!

After 19 Days of PICU,  Andrew has been transferred back to the Bone Marrow Transplant Floor.  Upon arrival to the floor, he entered the hallway to the Theme Song for  Rocky playing. Like we say, we love our people.

He is doing well but is having a hard day of activity. Thank you for the prayers and support. We are constantly amazed at how much support and encouragement we receive from all over the place.

We are looking forward to getting the National League Championship series started soon!

In Christ,
Team Andrew

Prayer Report: Day 198 Transplant and Day 18 PICU

February 10, 2019

The Smile is Back!

Andrew’s smile is back. In fact, I think he might have even flirted a little bit this morning with one of his nurses. Each day now could be the day he transfers out of PICU back up to the 5th floor Bone Marrow Unit.

I find it hard to report on his condition right now because he is genuinely doing better and he is stable. But he is not ok yet either. He is going through the process of recovering from 14 days of essentially a medically induced comma with significant amounts of high power sedation. For most of that time he was also under muscle paralytics in order to keep him still. He has been suffering form delirium and also withdrawal  symptoms. He is proudly weak. He can not move his legs or arms in any significant way.  He was finally able to actually lift his head up and hold it straight with his own strength yesterday. He still can’t lift his arms nor himself up from the bed. To sit on the side of the bed the therapist have to hold him up. The road of recovery is going to be a different type of battle than he has yet to experience. But #ChemoWarriors Keep Grindin. Therefore, the report is that he is stable, doing better and getting better but not yet ok.

But today, he is smiling again!

Letters to Andrew: 5th Floor BMT Nurses

You become attached! That is the bottom line reality after four plus years of intense and constant leukemia treatment. A Gallbladder and Spleen removed. A Leukemia relapse and intensive therapy to reach a post relapse remission. You get attached to your people. The doctors and nurses as well as the support staff of technicians, house keeping, social workers, and child life specialists. You become deeply attached and the introduction of new faces is truly traumatic for Andrew and us. To say that were scared to be transferred to the Adult hospital for Andrew's bone marrow transplant is an understatement. We seriously researched and considered other Children's hospitals around the country for that next phase of Andrew's treatment. In the end, the attachment to Andrew's team was greater than the fear. And to our great joy and blessing we simply added to OUR team of nurses and staff after the process was over. The time was short but intense and we miss them dearly.  Here is Andrew's thank you letter to the 5th Floor Bone Marrow Transplant Nurses. His list of Daisies is constantly growing!

Dear 5th Floor BMT Daisies,
Please accept this Bouquet of Daisies as an expression of our deep love and appreciation for all that the entire BMT staff did for Andrew this summer during his bone marrow transplant.  Four years of intensive chemo therapy unfortunately prepared him for the treatments but nothing could have prepared him or us for his isolation. You are all acutely aware of death’s reality once a patient has reached the need for a marrow transplant. Your focus and dedication was clear from the beginning and your compassion would become more and more clear as each day would go by. Over the four and half years of battling  leukemia we have always found the Daisy award nominations to be inadequate to express the reality of the team work required for even the greatest of nurses and staff to perform their work. So we invented our own DAISY AWARD for the entire floor. We hope this small expression will help you to understand just how important and special you are to us.

We are aware that Batson 3C receives a lot of praise and devotion from their patients. The administration of the hospital and care protocols are just so different between the Children’s and Adult’s Hospitals that it is genuinely unfair to compare the Apples to the Oranges. We also figure that you had to be aware of our great hesitation and concern for having him treated outside of a Children’s Hospital setting. We hope you will believe us when we say that we could not possibly be more pleased with the care Andrew received from the 5th Floor. The differences between a Children’s and Adult Hospitals are real and distinct.  But for the things that matter most we can’t express enough that there is not a difference between 3C and the 5th floor. The excellence in nursing skill is unmatched. The professionalism and focus was comforting and impressive. And the love and compassion were beyond measure. The extra effort given to make Andrew feel loved and comfortable will never be forgotten. The St. Louis Cardinals decorations brought great joy to all of our hearts. The patience and encouragement were never ending. Your dedication inspiring. For all of these and many more examples we will forever be grateful. We thank God often for placing you all in our lives.

We simply want to say thank you and that we love you. We genuinely miss seeing you all and being  able to continue the relationships that were begun in the heat of the battle. NEVER DOUBT THE IMPACT, IMPORTANCE, AND NECESSITY OF WHAT YOU DO!

THANK YOU,
Andrew

 

Prayer Report: Day 194 Transplant and Day 14 ICU

Game 2 to the Cards and Game 3 down to the Wire!

Sorry for the technical difficulties and not being able to broadcast Game 2 of the series yesterday. But we are in a barn burner of a game 3. Bob Uecker here sports fans. I’m joined again by Jack Buck. Hey Bob, what are the fans fighting about up there in the front row? I can’t make it out Jack. Oh, I hear them now. “Taste Great…Less Filling!…Taste Great….Less Filling!”  Oh my, the things sports fans will argue about!

Well, here’s the recap. The Cardinals are trying to close the series out against the T-Cell Pirates but they are down 3-0. Yeah Bob, the Pirates got off to a fast start. A single shot home run in each of the first three innings. But the Cardinals have shut them out since the fourth and this has been a defensive battle. I tell you Jack, I still can’t believe that the Cardinals brought in Dakota Hudson in such a critical moment in the playoffs. He was called up last year but he essentially a rookie. But he has kept the Pirates off their game for 9 straight innings. I wonder why they went with youth? Not only that, the greater shock is that they pulled Yadi and put in another MS State Alumni Ed Easley. The former backup catcher to Yadi. Bob, this is Joe down in the dugout. The same thing as with the pitcher Wall-E the other day. Dakota went the manager and said, “Give me the Ball and Easley…Bulldogs fight together to the end!” The rest is history at this point.

Well here we are again in the bottom of the ninth. Team Andrew is down 3-0. Henry is up tp the plate with runners on the corners and 1 out. The Pirates have the number one closer in the NL this season on the mound but he is looking vulnerable. Strike 1. Boy, that was a rocket! Ball 1 on the outside. Henry is showing great patience. Ball 2 again on the outside of the plate. Boy, could you imagine this crown if he gets a walk and Big Andrew comes up with the bases loaded? Here comes the pitch, CRACK! There it goes Bob. Henry has crushed it to left field….it’s out of here to tie the ball game. A 3 run shot to tie it up in the bottom of the 9th.

Andrew! Andrew! Andrew! This crowd is going wild here at Bush Stadium. A perfect night for baseball. That’s right Bob. Almost as good as a Friday night in Madden, MS. Who is that. Oh, it’s Melvin Wooten and Gilbert Barham from Leake Academy. Great to have you guys. We wouldn’t miss it. Leake Academy Rebels have been following Big Andrew since he was in K4!
He’s at the plate, Strike 1. Did you see that Melvin? That was a slow swing by Andrew. He might not have any juice left him. Ball 1. Ball 2. You know Jack, he still has that good eye. No pitcher in the league is going to get him with a close pitch. The Pirates are going to have come after him with a fastball.  Ball 3. What will they do Bob? I don’t know Jack. This is Gilbert again. What we need right here for them to do is throw a heater and Big Andrew to put it over center field. Here’s the pitch….they Hit him again. Andrew is down. Did you see that Melvin? Did you see that Bob? Yes, Gilbert. I saw it. The benches are clearing again. The managers are holding them back. Andrew has made his way to first. I can’t believe they have hit him again with a pitch. The T-Cells just wont stop coming after him.

Next batter. Here comes the pitch…a hit…caught by the center fielder for out number 2. Now what Bob? Are we looking at extra innings? Jack, it ain’t over till 3 outs. The pitcher is set, Andrew goes for the steal….PICKLE…PICKLE…Big Andrew is in a pickle. He’s fighting. Back and forth. Heading to second and there’s the throw…back to first…Oh No! Andrew comes up lame. Now the second baseman tosses it to first for the out. Wait! Wait. Did you see that Melvin? Andrew played possum. He’s sprinting to second. The first baseman dropped the ball and Andrew is SAFE at second. Pure Sandlot ball, Jack. Wow! Andrew is in scoring position. Don’t ever trust a Sandlot player. Yes, it’s all about the game for Andrew. Next batter up, it’s a single up the middle and Andrew is on third.
Here we are Sports Fans in the bottom the ninth with two outs. Andrew is on third with the game on the line. Big lead by Andrew. The pitcher tries to pick him off. Dangerous move by both players. Big Andrew just pointed at him. Couldn’t make out what Andrew said but it clearly got under the pitchers skin. Bad blood after getting hit twice by the Pirate pitchers. Well, Bad blood or not he has no business with that big of a lead. The pitcher is set. He shakes off the pitch. He’s distracted again by Andrew. He keeps inching further down the line. He’s daring him to try and pick him off. You can cut the tension with a knife. Here’s the pitch….He’s going home…Andrew is going home…its a squeeze play at the plate. A massive collision on the tag. The ball was there on time. Waiting on the call. Waiting. The Umpire is looking. He’s SAFE. The ball is on the ground. The catcher had him tagged but couldn’t hold the Ball. Big Andrew brought the Hammer on the slide and “That’s a Winner!” The Cardinals Win! The Cardinals Win! On to the NL Championship Series. Wow! Wow! He stole Home!  Big Andrew stole home like a little league Allstar!
Did you see that Melvin? Yes I did Gilbert!

And that folks is how Big Andrew gets Extubated and off of a breathing machine! He’s breathing on his own. Gearing up to leave the ICU tomorrow, Lord willing. His first words, “Where’s Ms. Elaine?” His first question, “where are my boxing gloves?” His first request, “get my cardinals hat.”

Letters to Andrew: 3C Nurses

Dear Andrew,

The 3C at Blair Batson unfortunately has been the center point of your childhood and your grueling battle with Leukemia.  However, the reality is that 3C is also the source of some of your greatest blessings and joys. Here is your thank you letter for the 3C Daisies! I guess the best way to describe 3C is that on many days through your journey the one place you always felt safe was on 3C. There were times when you actually wanted to be on 3C because it was your home. It's been so many years now that you've actually trained half of your nurses through their final stages of training. They will forever be your nurses.

Dear 3C Daisies,

We can not thank all of the 3C  nurses and staff enough for all the love, devotion, and care that you have given to Andrew and us for four and a half years. We expressed our thankfulness back in the early years with a gift of daises but it has occurred to us that so many who have cared for Andrew during his relapse in 2018 were not around during Andrew’s first years of 3C Life. We give these daisies again with this letter to add all of Andrew’s new nurses and staff to that list. Your care is so special and comforting that he (we) truly prefer being admitted during the times of treatment and uncertainty because being on 3C always gives us strength and hope. It was late on a Friday  afternoon when Andrew’s relapse was confirmed. As Dr. Collier was discussing the potential first steps my first thought was “please admit him tonight” so that he could be with all of his 3C nurses. We were immediately anxious once seeing all of the new faces. But oh the joy and comfort we received as we leaned that 3C was still home and the new faces were just our new additions to the family.

We also want to thank you for the extra care and love you gave to Andrew during his transplant. (and now we have to ADD visits to the ICU) The visits and the encouragement were essential for his journey. A fellow  #ChemoWarrior died during the days of Andrew’s transplant and the loss struck him to his core. Your visits on that day got him through his heartbreak and prepared him for battle again. Andrew misses his nurses. He speaks of all of you often. The greater part of his childhood has been spent on 3C. His fondest memories of life are full of the memories of his 3C nurses.

So we thank you! NEVER DOUBT THE IMPACT, IMPORTANCE, AND NECESSITY OF YOUR WORK!

Thank you,
Team Andrew

Letters to Andrew: "Ms. Elaine"

Dear Andrew,

She calls you her Baby! First, I need you to know that you aren’t her only baby. However, it is pretty amazing how she can make you feel like you are her only baby. After all of these years, she has been the one constant for you throughout every challenge. You wanted to give her a heart pendant for Christmas 2018. We got her one for you and I wrote this Daisy Award thank you letter for you. Here it is for you to read:

Dear Ms. Elaine,
Please accept this gift from Andrew and us as a small token of our incalculable gratefulness for all of the care you have given to Andrew and us since June 2, 2014. I am a man of many words most of the time as I make my living as a communicator. However, I remain seemingly at a constant loss for words when I try to adequately express our love and thankfulness for you.
You were Andrew’s were apart of Andrew's first nursing crew when he was diagnosed and you have been there every step of the way. Robin and I have reflected lately on how you have  just “so happened” to be scheduled for work during every major time of transition, procedure, or event during Andrew’s leukemia journey. When he relapsed this year it was on a Friday evening when he was admitted. Robin’s anxiety was increased when it crossed her mind the you would not be there because it was a Friday. We have praised God for his sweet providence often for having you in place for that special and critical moment. She cries every time we discuss that moment.  Andrew often jokes about how, “Ms. Elaine” will take care of me. But he also has occasion to say those words with the upmost seriousness and they are his source of great comfort.

I wish you could grasp how special and necessary your visit to Andrew on the day of Freddie’s death was for him. I know my son. He was heartbroken. But it was more than heartbreak. He was dealing head-on with a deep consciousness of his own potential death. Robin and I were with him and 3C nurses were visiting and all of that brought him great comfort. But he was not ok until you walked through that door! In the 41/2 years of treatment he has know anger, anxiety, and fear. But has never experienced the fear he had on that day and God used your presence to take it away. He was instantly ok and prepared to do battle again. He has never looked back. On that day, he just needed you!

We do miss you and think of you often. I told Andrew that I wanted to give you a special gift of jewelry but we couldn’t decide what to get. It was his idea that it should be something with a “shiny heart” for you. This is what we found and we hope this heart will always remind you of our inexpressible  for love you.

Thank you,
Team Andrew

Prayer Report: Day 192 Transplant and Day 12 ICU

Divisional Playoffs!
Prayer Report:
Andrew had a great weekend of recovery. His treatment plan remained uneventful. They are continuing daily to dial back all of the settings on the breathing machine and adjusting all of his medicines. Today has been primarily another day of tweaking the machines and waiting for his lungs to clear up well enough to start trying to get him back breathing on his own. He had some more tests and another Bronchial procedure. He is still in critical but stable condition. He is handling the times that he comes out of his sedation without any problems. He is communicating with us with appropriate responses to questions. Pray for him to remain in stable condition. He could still face some setbacks. Pray that his lungs will continue to clear and that he will be able to breathe on his own without any significant compromise.

Playoff Report:
Here we are folks, The 2019 NL Division Playoff Series between The Team Andrew Cardinals and the T-Cell Pirates. Today is Game 1 of the series. Jack Buck here Cardinals fans to call the game. Before we have the first pitch, we have to talk once again about the medical and training team for the Cardinals. The team is diverse and extensive. They have been with Big Andrew for the last four and half years. The Drs, Athletic Trainers, and Rehab specialists have been going the extra mile to get Andrew back in the game. That’s right Jack, Bob Uecker here, their dedication to keeping him in the game over the years is known throughout the league. However, the work to enable him to finish this season has been intense. The therapy over this past weekend as been constant and intensive. He’s been under 24hr a day monitoring as well as a constant rehab regimen. The medical staff is noticeably pleased with how far he has come over this brief period. Jack? Bob? Do y’all hear me? Yes Joe, go ahead. I’m down here in the dugout watching the team warm up. The staff is clearly pleased with Andrew’s progress. Hey guys, he’s coming out. Wow, listen to the crowd as they are getting their first sight of him since that walk off home run. He’s coming out onto the field guys. Well Jack, I still don’t see how he can compete in this Divisional series. I believe the doctors and the reports are that the agents have full confidence in their clearing him to play. But I’ve gotta say I just don’t see how he can play by the way he is walking around. You know Bob, it makes me wonder just how bad of condition he was in over the weekend. Yep Jack, it’s like eating rice cakes. Do what, Bob? Just follow me. I hear people talking about how good chocolate rice cakes are. To hear them tell it you’d think they could be served at a 5 Star restaurant. Like they are some kinda fine desert snack. But have you eaten one, Jack? Are you crazy Bob? Heck no! Keep it that away. I ate one today and all I could think was if that was better than an original, then just how nasty is an original rice cake? My stars! Eating that thing made me not want to eat for the rest of the day. And look at me Jack, I like to eat. So, like I said about Andrew if his condition is better, then I think we are now understanding just how bad his condition was in the first place. Well, I believe the Cardinals wouldn’t risk his health by letting him play if he wasn’t able to play.

Here we go, The Cardinals are coming to the plate. Here’s the call from the Umpire, “PLAY BALL!” Here comes the first pitch and it’s a …..

Prayer Report: Day 189 Transplant- 9 ICU

A Must Win NL Wild-Card Game!
First, today’s report is a good report. Second, today’s report comes to terms with reality.
Andrew is still in Critical Condition but is far more stable than what he was this weekend. The doctor today is willing to cautiously say that he is “cautiously optimistic” about his condition. Andrew had a great day and night yesterday and this morning. He continued to meet the short term treatment goals and his body continues to handle the changes they are making each day. He has not had a real set back yet but having a set back install a real possibility. So, we are excited and pleased with this slow and methodical progress. He has begun physical and occupational therapy. Now, his therapist today is from Simpson Academy so we are watching her closely. But, the Canton Academy nurses on 3C have worked out well so we are optimistic. But rest assured, he has made sure they know he is a Leake Rebel!
However, the reality of his critical condition is becoming clearer as the immediate shock waves from this past week have begun to dissipate. We known for days about his multi-organ failure. The good news is that his condition on that front is better. The reality is that lungs especially but also his kidneys are still experiencing function failure. His progress is about to slow down as they intentional slow down the process for fear of moving too fast. His condition is still that fragile. Moving too fast or adjusting the treatments too far could backfire very quickly. He has an easy five more days on the breathing machine. He simply can not yet live on his own without Wall-E breathing for him. Respiratory Failure Don’t Play!
So, don’t be discouraged when the next few days do not bring forth many great changes. We do not expect them and there could be a few set backs before he finishes out the World Series.

Game Report:
Welcome back Sports Fans, Bob Uecker here and still with me is my good friend Jack Buck. Thanks Bob, I’m glad to be with you. What a game. That’s right, Jack. We have seen it all in the National League Wild-Card game. I wasn’t a fan of this new format but the I must admit that the drama and intensity of the sudden death format has all the magic of a game 7 world series finale. It sure does Bob, the players live for the challenge of a must win situation. The team that loses this game is out for the season. There is no tomorrow. Let’s see what the Team Andrew Cardinals can do in the bottom of the 12th.
Jack, I can’t believe my eyes. That is Big Andrew stepping to the plate. I know Bob, I can’t imagine how he can he walk to the plate let alone hit and run. Bob? Can you hear me Bob? Yes I can. Go ahead Joe. Thanks Bob, Joe Buck here in the dugout. You’re not going to believe this but Andrew getting being able to finish the game has something to do with that snake I mentioned during the weather delay. Evidently, the rest of Tiffany’s staff provided Big Andrew with a life like rubber snake. We knew about the “therapeutic” water and nerf guns but we were unaware the rubber snakes, cockroaches, and spiders. When the training staff (think of them as nurses) began to give give Andrew treatments he about gave one a heart attack. That’s what the commotion was during the break when all I hear was a loud shout of, “OH SNAP! Andrew!” It’s reported that had wrapped that snake around his shoes and he asked for her to get them for him. The team Dr. (Big G is what he calls her) believes that he laughed so hard at her that it cleared his lungs enough for him to stay in the game. Back to you Bob.
Jack, that there shows you the power of heart. Yep Bob, you can’t coach that and that is the difference between talent and leadership. There are plenty of guys with the skills to play the game but very few who can carry an entire team on their back. Especially when they can barely carry themselves with their own strength. Well Jack, Guess that’s also why his agents insist on having Big Andrew’s care team with at all games. I hear his agents are demanding. They expect more than mere competent effort from his physical trainers. They want the extra mile. Demand the extra mile. Yes, Bob. And around the city everyone knows that once a trainer earns his/her stripes and prove themselves to the agents and Big Andrew they will go the extra mile to support them as well.
Listen to this crowd at Bush Stadium as Big Andrew steps to the plate. Bob, I do not believe he is going to be able to finish this at bat.There is no way. He can barely stand or breathe. Here comes the pitch, strike 1! Jack, We are not looking at the Big Andrew of old. He is a shell of himself. Here comes the second pitch and it’s a swing and a miss. Strike 2! Oh no, Bob. Andrew looks like he is going down. I can’t believe they are leaving him in the game. Joe, can you give us a report. Yes, right now they are having to hold his mother back from going in to get him off of the field. Big G  says he’s got this and is telling the Manager to let Andrew decide cause it’s his fight. The Manager tried to call a timeout but Andrew put up his hand and said, “stop! I’ve got this. You can’t take this away from me now!” The trainer gave him his inhaler and he is now back at the plate. Back to you Bob. Well, here we go Jack. Let’s see what Andrew has in him.
Andrew is set in the box. The pitcher is shaking off the sign. Normally, the last thing you’d throw him is a fast ball in this situation but you have to think in his weakened condition that the Pneumonia Yankees believe that can sit him down with a heater. The pitcher is set, Here comes the pitch. It’s a fast ball. He swings. Look at that Bob! Look at that Bob! It’s going…going..going. GONE over the centerfield wall. “That’s a Winner” Cardinals fans. We will see you next week for the best of 5 National League Divisional Series!

Letters to Andrew: We Call you Rocky!

Dear Andrew,

I am so proud of you! You have handled every challenge that Leukemia has thrown at you with class, grace, and courage. I can’t believe I have waited so long to write you this letter. As I write this letter to you now I am dealing with the reality that you may never be able to read it. However, I write it with the hope that you will. I write to tell you how proud I am of what you have already accomplished while I am watching you daily fight a battle that I can’t even comprehend. In my minds eye I replay the last couple of weeks as we watched your body slowly decline. We had no idea or ability to even know what was going on inside your body. You were getting stronger every trip to the therapy. You were practicing even harder at basketball. Coach Shep kept sneaking you into the game even longer every week! We were so proud of you and happy for you.  You showed why we call you, Rocky!

We never imagined that you would suffer so much from your bone marrow transplant. Dr. Davis and Dr. Gordon both told us how horrible it would be. It all played out just like they said but they could not convey just how much you would suffer.  Yet, you kept pressing on. You did your therapy. Your did all of your daily cleaning which became very panful once your mouth sores and ulcers developed. This doesn’t even take into account all the days you spent completely strapped and taped into a chair for thirty minutes of full body radiation. My stars son! I don’t know-how anyone let alone a 12 year old can handle what you conquered this past summer.  To say I am proud really doesn’t do you justice. I am amazed by you.
The straight truth about it Andrew is that you are already everything a man is suppose to be. You are humble and kind. You are a gentle soul. Quick to defend the weaker. Even quicker to stand against the bully. You are gentle to the little ones and your heart is full of compassion. Your smile is genuine because you are so genuine. Your daily life is a routine of suffering and struggle and yet you exhibit precisely what it means to be full of life. When you weren’t allowed to go to the Leake Football games you’d watch from the truck with as much joy as if you were on the sidelines. You rejected every opportunity for self pity and embraced every moment with a deep appreciation for life. I stand amazed watching you live!
I should have written this letter already. Of all families, we should not be the one who takes time for granted. Yet, even we take time for granted as we get use to death’s reality in our world. We still put off to tomorrow expressions of love that should be given today. And now, your mother and I sit daily and watch you seem to be lifeless as machines keep your body alive. Although your body often seems to be lifeless, the monitor makes it clear that you are not only alive but you are fighting. I know I tell you I love you all the time. But watching you in the bed with the breathing tube going down your throat I can only think about, “did I show you well enough?” Did you really know? Do you know? We have lived with the knowledge that leukemia could possibly take your life for almost 5 years. But this is the first time that death has been at the door. Every night I say good bye to you because I must go home and take care of your sisters. I put on all of the disease control gear and stand by your bed. Through my rubber gloves, I touch your face and rub your head. Hoping it gives you comfort. You can’t hold my hand. You can’t communicate with me. You can’t look at me. Between the mask and all of the wires and tubes I can’t even kiss you. I simply tell you over and over again that “Daddy Loves you” and that “I am so proud of you” and simply look at your precious face. And every night I say a final good bye not knowing whether or not I will see you alive again the next morning. It is a nightly final good bye.  And every night your life flashes through mind. I see you throwing the ball as a little boy. I see the girls jumping up and down every morning by your crib screaming, “Andrew’s up! Andrew’s up!” I see you playing Canton and Ole Miss every Friday afternoon in the front yard until you were utterly exhausted. I see you dressed for church looking just like me with your blue blazer and Leake Academy tie. I see you walking the field with Yadi Molina as if you were talking to a friend. I see you heart broken in life. I see you climb into my lap after being told you have cancer. I see you asking me, “will I ever wake up again?” when I told you they were putting you on the breathing machine. I see your life and all we hope for it to be every night as I say good bye.
So I write this letter to tell you that I am so proud of you and love you. And I pray that one day you will be able to read it. I pray more that one day you will know how true it is. But right now I need you to know that there is nothing you can do to make us more proud of you! And like Christ’s love, there is nothing you can do to cause us to love you anymore than we do. You’ve never had to earn our love and you couldn’t earn it if you tried. We love you period and full stop! Win, lose, or draw we love you. Your physical battles with Leukemia and pneumonia will not ever change that nor can our love be changed.
Now hear me, Little Man!  Listen to me son! Do you hear me? Huh!? Do you hear me!? I know you probably can’t really understand me or truly hear me but listen anyway. I know you can feel me!  Fight! Get up in that bed and fight! Don’t quit. Don’t slow down. Don’t have a pity party. The sun comes up and the sun goes down and all you can do with it  “Take Care of Your Business!” and finish the fight! I know you're down. I know you you are knocked down like never before. Ain’t nothing ever hit you like this pneumonia has hit you this week. And nobody in the world would blame you if you want to quit. And nobody would blame if you felt like it isn’t worth it when life is a constant fight with leukemia and pneumonia. But life isn’t about being satisfied with just showing up. That's not how we roll. Now you fight! Not for me and momma. Not for your sisters. Not for all those who love you. You fight for you! At the end of the day this is your fight. It is about you and nobody else. You have a cloud of witnesses and supporters cheering you on but it is your fight. You finish it! I can’t fight this for you! I don’t care how bad this Pneumonia is it’s hard to beat someone who won’t ever quit fighting. So press on and fight to the finish. Come ON Rocky!

Get up out of that bed and knock it’s block off! Cause Daddy Loves you!

In Christ,
Love Daddy.