Robin's Journal

Today is Andrew's day of Transplant. So, we introduce a new feature to the blog called Robin's Journal. I hope she will make this a weekly contribution. An expression of the mother's voice and experience. It's a "Labor of Love" experience uniquely by God's design by a mother.

Welcome to Robin's Journal:


One of my favorite passages to read is Psalm 139:13-16, 23-24.  I have always read this as a comfort to myself because I was born with a congenital heart defect (hole in my heart) and had to have open heart surgery when I was four years old and then again almost two years ago while Andrew was still under treatment for Leukemia.   I would question why God allowed this, then I would read Psalm 139 and it would bring great comfort.  Today I read these verses not as a patient but as a mother.  Verse 13 says God formed Andrew’s inward parts.  God knitted him together in my womb.  He knew Andrew would have leukemia.  God isn’t surprised.  He allowed this.  Verse 14 says I praise God because Andrew was fearfully and wonderfully made.  In verse 15 it says “my frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth”.  I remember when Andrew was made.  I know where I was and when he was being formed.  As a mother I have had that great privilege of feeling when Andrew was being formed as I carried him in my womb.  God created Andrew.  Nothing was hidden from God.  Verse 16 says that God has written in His book all the days that were formed for Andrew.  God isn’t surprised by any of this.  He ordained for Andrew to have leukemia and for him to relapse.  He also called Andrew to himself as His child so that Andrew would have a way to fight; a source of strength and power.  Then we come to verses 23-24, “Search me O God and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts.  And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting”.  I read these 2 verses as a prayer not only for myself but for Andrew as well. 

I love that as we read God’s Word the Holy Spirit breaths new insights for us just when we need them.  Sitting with Andrew 24/7 in the hospital isn’t easy emotionally but there is no place I would rather be.  As his mother this is my great privilege to take care of him physically every single day.  The good, the bad and the ugly or gross.  I’m here for it all.  He won’t let me go too far from him for too long.  Yes, it makes me feel good.  Aren’t we all like that with our Mama.

In Christ’s Love,
Robin (Mama)