Letters to Andrew: The Clock

Dear Andrew,
   
     Time does not stand still.  In the Land of Leukemia we often feel like time stands still and at the same time it feels like it flies by with a year worth of time passing by with every 24 hours. We have learned though that although time mostly feels like it is standing still the reality is that the sun rises and sets everyday and the world marches on regardless of whatever is happening in your life. I will never forget the moment that this reality hit home for me. We were coming back from one of your early MRI tests. I believe it was within the first 24 hours of being diagnosed. I didn't think too much about it at the time but I did make note in my mind that it was after normal working hours. I looked up as we were going down the now familiar hallway and saw the clock. It was 10:30 at night. I had no idea it was so late. Time was marching on! I began taking pictures of the digital clocks all over the hospital to mark transitional times and moments as we marched along through our new Leukemia Life. The reminder that Time was Not Standing Still.

      This clock is the picture is the first picture I posted on social media. It is the clock that was right beside room 369C which was your home for June and most of July 2014. The experience of time changed the moment that Dr. Smith gave us the official diagnosis of your Leukemia down in the ER. I remember it feeling just like a movie scene when a bomb explodes. Everything seemed to be in a haze and everyone was moving and talking in slow motion. My ears were ringing. All the noise of the ER seemed to go silent yet I was still unable to clearly hear her speak. I could see her lips move but I struggled to hear what she was saying. I caught myself inching closer and closer to her as I strained to hear. I caught myself as I felt like I was almost going to be close enough that our faces would touch. The rest of the day was just like that moment. The only part that I remember clearly is the 30 minutes or so we spent together after I told you the diagnosis. The Land of Leukemia  took on a life and a time of it's own.
    Four years have gone by and we are once again in the time warp of Leukemia as we are Day 5 of 100 into your bone marrow transplant. I pray that we come to know the power, comfort, and focus that comes only from the author and sustainer of time. The Lord God almighty who is the maker of heaven and earth. May your trust in his perfect design for your life grow as your days of suffering bring dark hours of fear, frustration, and despair. I pray you learn by great experience the power and comfort of Christ our savior's presence.

In the hours of pain and sorrow

When the world brings no relief

When the eye is dim and heavy, and the heart oppressed with grief.

While blessings flee, Savior, Lord we trust in Thee.

While blessings flee, Savior, Lord we trust in Thee.

                                                            -Helen Parmlee and Kevin Twit

In Christ,

Daddy